June Bugs*

In the computer world, "bug" is a bad, bad word. [This is where all the coders start shuddering.]

Within the confines of my house, "bug" means "pest that's only alive because the cat isn't doing her job or Mr. Dude hasn't killed it yet even though I asked a whole 2 seconds ago".

For my garden, "bug" means "that thing that's trying to eat all the plants!"

As far as my to do list is concerned, "bug" refers to the verb, as in - "I haven't done Item A [or Item B, or Item C, or Item D, or Item E ...] yet, and it's starting to bug me".

For the purposes of this blog, "bug" explains the content of this post, and I'm going to refer to all of the above.

Let's go in reverse order, shall we?

To Do List: Let's just say that mine has been rather long, without much progress and without enough coffee. [For the record, there's never enough coffee. You'll be my best friend if you bring me some good coffee. Promise.] We've had lots going on with Mr. Dude's work schedule, Little Guy's sleep schedule, and my manage-our-home-behind-the-scenes schedule. Thus, the blog fell off the "highest priority, must get something posted today" radar. Hard to blog about life when you're too busy living it, right? Don't worry - it gnawed at me. So we're back.

Garden: The bugs in the garden have been watching us pull up undergrowth, kill off the moss that was eating our lawns [oh, the joys of living in the PNW] and set up all kinds of accessories. Our backyard is now sporting some awesome garage sale finds and hand-me-downs: patio table and chairs, solar LED umbrella [oooh! blinky lights!], fire pit, and gas bbq grill. [Can you say "neighborhood cookout"?!]

If you thought Mr. Dude's only hobbies were building and modifying computers or finding random videos on YouTube featuring reviews of the Goat Simulator game given by a gal who just ate a habanero pepper stuffed with ghost chili pepper sauce, then you were mistaken.

He ALSO loves sprucing up a much-loved grill to make it shine like new and filling up the gargantuan yard waste can with vines and dandelions and blackberry bush clippings. Not the stereotypical nerd who never sees daylight, I tell you.

[Although, did I tell you about how he worked in the basement at our university's IT Help Desk, and they had pictures of windows overlooking sunny landscapes on their computer desktops in lieu of actual windows? Apparently the nerds thought their virtual UV rays were sufficient ...] 

But seriously, when he's not doing yardwork, he really is looking up Goat Simulator game reviews.

House: I've been doing my own geeking out over things like design, function and decorating. I may or may not have spent most of a sunny day outside, lounging in our new-to-us patio furniture and reading this:

 

Mr. Dude likes the "DIY" concept for building computers; I like it applied to cooking and decorating. Also, I appreciate bloggers with a sense of humor, so I follow them on Bloglovin'. [Note: You could follow The Almost Nerdy Wife on Bloglovin', too. Just sayin'. #shamelessselfpromotion #justkiddingIhateselfpromoting] 

The only downside is that I can't actually do most of the project ideas in here: we're waiting on even basic things like paint and hanging pictures until our walls are demolished and rebuilt. No, we're not knocking our entire house down. Yes, we have to redo most of our electrical work.

[1916 House 
+ 
Nerd with Excess of Electronic Devices 
= 
Supply and Demand Imbalance]

Actually, we needed to do the update anyways [hellooooooo, knob and tube!], and I'm too lazy to paint walls that are just going to be torn up in a few months. But it's so much more fun to point out Mr. Dude's wattage consumption. He won't mind, though. He willingly measures how many watts his machines pull out anyways.

This is actually pretty low, especially after we had legit outlets installed downstairs, in addition to the lightbulb-to-outlet conversions he had done. Otherwise, he had a ridiculous number of devices daisy-chained to a single extension cord running off one outlet in the mudroom/pantry just up the stairs from his man cave and it was consistently up in the 400s. We really need to get the electricity finished, folks!

Where were we?

Oh yeah. Decorating. Or not. At least not until Mr. Dude's machines can't cause a shortage throughout our entire house and blow every fuse in the box with one fell swoop of overclocking.

Excuse me. I'm off to go stock up on batteries for the flashlight in case of Wattage-gate.

Maybe I'll buy a can of paint while I'm at it.


[*Bonus Points for those of you who ever watched the Cartoon Network "June Bugs" specials where they ran a marathon of Warner Brothers' Bugs Bunny cartoons. Ah, such wonderful childhood memories.]

On The Surface

The Microsoft Surface, that is.

Yesterday was a two-fer day for blog posts.

I kinda felt bad about leaving you in the dark on all the funny things that happened over the last week, so you got an extra one. Part of my radio silence was from giving our poor sick Little Guy lots of extra attention.

And part of it was because of conversations like this:

Yes, I know how to tell when my display driver crashed. I know what a display driver is. And I know how to update them.

I also know that if my GPU is becoming akin to burnt toast, then I have to replace the entire laptop sooner rather than later [the one upside of a desktop, in my opinion - your GPU isn't soldered onto the motherboard ... wait, did I really just type those words?!].

I'm also too lazy to do my own computer maintenance sometimes.

Besides, why deprive Mr. Dude of some time to tinker around, à la car mechanic?

So in the meantime, I'm dealing with a slightly cantankerous machine that thinks it's getting too old for the likes of 30 internet browser tabs being open at once, despite the fact that this multi-tasking mama needs it to keep chugging along.

And then Mr. Dude brought home a Microsoft Surface that a friend had let him borrow.

I think my little HP notebook could tell that I was oohing and aahing over another machine, and it must have gotten jealous because it is running ... as ... slowly ... as ... molasses ... in ... January ... today.

Maybe it just needs another cup of coffee?

Nope, that'd be this mama who needs another cup of coffee.

This machine is gonna get Windows 7 reinstalled and all the drivers updated by my personal Geek Squad this weekend. And then we can all celebrate its restoration to good health.

Oh, the joys of owning PCs and being married to a PC tech., no?

Meanwhile, From the Prize Box

Remember how you used to have days in class where the teacher would do a review session for an upcoming test, and he'd pass out small prizes for the right answer? You know, like pencils, stickers, bookmarks and the like?

You thought I was talking about elementary school .

Nope. This happens in adult world, too, folks. Your wildest dreams have come true!

Mr. Dude's right answer during the SharePoint training seminar earned him some swag:

 

Seriously?! 

Tacky? Or awesome? 

Discuss. 

[Side Note: I don't even dare ask Mr. Dude what the question was. Otherwise I'll suddenly discover that he's rattled off about all things SharePoint for an hour and I'll know more about it than the general population. I know better than that, folks!]

Dating Windows XP

Found some more treasures at the consignment shop for Little Guy, just in time for the M's home opener on Tuesday:

Does this Giants' fan get bonus points for buying M's gear for our son? I mean, seriously.

[Mr. Dude asked me to wear M's gear to the game, and I think I almost laughed in his face. I reassured him that I love him. A lot. And then I reminded him that this is baseball we're talking about. I only wear black and orange, no matter who is playing or who my husband is cheering for. The "leaving and cleaving" may apply to my family, but it does not apply to my baseball team. Just sayin'.]

Also, I'm claiming bonus points for the R2D2 and C3PO shirt. Because what nerd's kid's wardrobe is complete without something from Star Wars?

I digress.

The day of said home game where Little Guy sported his Griffey gear, Mr. Dude and I were filling out paperwork at the doctor's office for the [insert trumpet fanfare here] one year appointment.

Me: What's the date today?
Mr. Dude: The 8th. Do you know how I know it's the 8th?
Me: Because it's our dating anniversary?
Mr. Dude: No. And yes! But today is the day that Windows XP support ends.
Me: And you know that more than you know that it's our dating anniversary?
Mr. Dude: Hey, I had to live and breathe that deadline! 

In all fairness, our dating anniversary is something more like a three day stretch, because it took one day for him to ask me to be his girlfriend, one day for me to think about it, and a third day for me to say "yes". April 8th is the day I said "yes". So sometimes I have a hard time remembering which one we celebrate [answer: we kinda, sorta celebrate all three].

And in all fairness, his massive project at work as a "Sharepoint Farmer" [as he calls himself] has been to migrate everything on their servers to a new OS so that everyone and their mom couldn't hack into the system. So the countdown to April 8, 2014, has been on his work desktop for the last couple of years.

Oh, widgets. What did we ever do without you?

Even so, the ordinals in his head for April 8th events went something like

[Windows XP end-of-support, M's Opening Day, 8 year dating anniversary, SQUIRREL!, Little Guy's appointment].

If he's not careful, I'll start calling him Szalinski.

[And he'd like you to know that he's proud I'd even use a reference from a 90's movie.]

Awkward Family Photos and Verbal Analogies, SAT-Style

[We interrupt this broadcast to bring you this important bulletin: Today is "Family Harmonica Day".]

The Awkward Family Photo calendar said so.

"Why on earth", you ask, "do you have an Awkward Family Photo calendar?!?!"

Good question.

Have you ever heard of "photo-bombing"? Usually, it's a practice where someone jumps into another's scene while a photo is being taken, without the primary subjects noticing. Benedict Cumberbatch and squirrels alike have been known to take up the hobby.

At our house, it's what happens when you ask friends to babysit whilst you attend a wedding, and they see fit to grace our walls with said calendar's presence, without you noticing until after they had left for the night. In this case, the calendar literally "photo-bombed" our wall.

Fortunately, it's turned out to be quite the useful calendar with so many helpful holidays written in. Today is "Family Harmonica Day", and "Dress Like a Hobbit" comes later this month. And then there are other important occasions such as "Polyester Jumpsuit Day" and "Family Sweater Day". If you haven't gotten your harmonica on yet, though, you'll want to hurry. The day is almost done!

Know how Mr. Dude and I are celebrating this year's "Family Harmonica Day"? We're sitting side by side working on our respective computers while Little Guy sleeps. Ah, the life of a nerd and his wife. He's doing PowerShell scripting for work and I just finished up a freelance gig wherein I kinda-sorta-not-really played the part of a web developer.

Actually I was migrating content from one website to another, which really just means I was a glorified copy-and-paste wizard. But a wizard nonetheless, mind you. I'm working on getting my staff and a horse as cool as Shadowfax.

[#LOTRreferenceFTW]

What's that you say? You're surprised that I dove into the world of web development?

Me, too. Sometimes these things just land in my lap and I take them - always good to learn new skills and earn a bit of extra cash, right?

Mr. Dude, however, was more focused on the fact that I was uploading content into a WordPress site.

Mr. Dude: "That's not web development, Stephanie!"
Me: "Well, you're just doing PowerShell. That's not really programming."
Mr. Dude: "Yes it is!"
Me: "Then working with WordPress sites is web development. So there."

Very sophisticated arguing, I tell you. But a valid point, unless of course you agree that

HTML : WordPress :: C++ : PowerShell

If that's true, then WordPress really is nothing like "true" web development, whatever that means. I'm still accepting the title of "Copy and Paste Wizard", though.  

Happy "Family Harmonica Day"! 

Nostalgia in the News

If Mr. Dude had his way, there'd be a giant arcade game - or multiples - somewhere in our home, with a library of all the best titles from days gone by.

For now, he's stuck with an emulator on his original Xbox, the arcade library on the Xbox 360, and his dream.

But wait! There's more!

The BBC posted an article a few days ago about the Internet Archive making a bunch of games available to play on any internet browser.

[Yes, I read the BBC news. And yes, this article caught my eye. Can you tell that Mr. Dude and I have been married for a while? He must be rubbing off on me ...]

Sound isn't available yet, but apparently it's coming. The article also speaks of bespoke [haha! I think I made a funny there ...] cartridges that the old games used to run on and are getting harder to find. So they're doing the equivalent of translating old photographic slides into digital jpg files.

Source: Internet Archive homepage

This may sound weird, but I am oddly encouraged by the fact that I have never heard of "bespoke cartridges".

Yet. 

Mr. Dude's excitement about computers and consoles of the past has never reached that level of detail.

Or maybe he just hasn't found time to wax eloquent on the subject yet because he's been so busy telling me all kinds of other technological tidbits?

Whatever.

Anyone want to take bets on when the Internet Archive homepage makes it onto his list of favorite bookmarks?

For the Love of Free Shipping

Some days, I literally have to tell Mr. Dude to stop talking.

No, I'm not being the mean wife who hates hearing what her husband has to say.

And yes, I listen to my husband talk a LOT. Because my husband can literally talk a LOT.

Sometimes, I just have to tell him to stop talking because otherwise he'd never stop. Especially when you get him talking about tech stuff. Or when he gets himself talking about tech stuff.

Tonight, for example, I asked him a simple question:

"Do you need anything from Target?"

Purpose: I have a pair of slippers I was planning on getting from there - my old ones are kaput after 5 or 6 years and it's cold here in Seattle's winter, by golly.

The nearest Target is a half hour away with traffic [darn city living] and that's just not a good life choice most days with a munchkin in tow. I also don't need enough stuff from there to justify spending that much on gas, anyways.

But Amazon [oh, Amazon - how we love thee] has taught me to despise the thought of paying for shipping.

So we play Target's game - spending enough money to trip the "free shipping" discount. I can't think of anything we need at the moment [isn't that a lovely feeling?], so I ask my dearest husband if he can think of anything.

After I throw out his first few suggestions [one of which was an Ouya console, which is another story entirely], I suggest we go for a baby monitor since we've been considering it. We live in a small apartment, so we can either hear Little Guy from anywhere we stand, or we use a baby monitor app on our phones that calls whatever number we set up when the decibel level in his room reaches a certain level [officially called the "he's awake" decibel level ... about 74, if you're counting]. But with trips and other events, we've decided it's finally time to shell out the less-than-fifty-dollars for a decent audio monitor system that's portable and doesn't require one of us to sacrifice a phone during naptime. [First world problems, I know.]

Being the good wife of a techie, I know a few questions I should ask - do I need to make sure that the device works on multiple channels so that it doesn't interfere with our wifi and other wireless devices?

[This is important, mind you, because Mr. Dude informed me that there are over 30 wireless access points within range of our apartment, and they had caused so much interference as to make his Xbox controllers disconnect the other day. While he was using one. In the middle of a game. Oh the horror! But I digress ...]

[Oh, and our Xbox friend of Gears of War 3 fame would like me to correct "XBox" in that post to "Xbox". Apparently the appropriate capitalization thereof is vitally important. I told him to get over it. And now I'm digressing again.]

You know, my father-in-law has a saying:

"If you don't want to know the answer, don't ask the question." 

I'm beginning to think it would be wise to start listening to some of his advice.

Know how Mr. Dude answered my very simple question?

I got a very loooong and drawn out discussion about how 2.4MHz is the standard on consumer devices ... but that some devices used 5.1MHz to mitigate the interference factors ... Unfortunately that frequency isn't as good at sending signals through walls, so it's almost useless anyways ... But the router has the ability to "auto-hop" between channels on the 2.4MHz frequency, so it will automatically skip over whatever channel the baby monitor is using and it won't be an issue ... Some devices will solve the issue by sending smaller packets of information that can wedge themselves into the same stream that other devices are using on that channel ... And what if he were to just replace the bad RAM in the server he's got, put a microphone on it, and have it send an email or text or something when Little Guy's noises reach the "I'm awake" decibel level? ... Ooh! That could be a fun Christmas vacation project ...

Dude. Mr. Dude. Just stop.

My feet are cold.

I want to go order my slippers.

And I'm going to order a baby monitor, too, since we need one and that makes free shipping possible.

And all that you just told me boils down to simply "Stephanie, the frequency and channels on the baby monitor don't matter because I can tweak our other devices to work around it. So just order one that has a decent range, good reviews and isn't more than $50."

Done and done.

Ten minutes later, I have an order confirmation number and the satisfaction in knowing that I found a baby monitor for under $50 with a 1000 foot range and 120 channels.

Booyah.

Now to go find a pair of socks to fill in for the slippers that haven't arrived yet. Darn instant gratification addiction.

It's All Been a Beef Misunderstanding ...

If you've been around me for longer than an hour, you know I like to cook.

Okay, so I may be obsessed with cooking. And food. Mmm ... I like food. The technical term is "foodie", although you could make the argument that I'm something of a "food nerd". It fascinates me and I love learning how to make new things from scratch, so I guess you could also say that I "geek out" over food.

Didn't used to be that way. I used to be a REALLY picky eater. I wouldn't try very many new things, couldn't do any fish, didn't like the thought of not knowing every ingredient that was in the item I ordered ... there are some things I still haven't come around to (ahem, calamari, mustard, mushrooms, pickles, and lots of other things that Mr. Dude "sacrifices" by eating for me), but it's a much shorter list than it used to be.

I blame my college roomies. Some of them were vocal performance majors who couldn't eat dairy or cooked tomatoes because that would mess with their vocal cords too much. We each took turns cooking dinners for all of us, and all I knew how to make was Italian and Mexican. Translation: lots and lots of dairy and cooked tomatoes. What on earth do you make for these people?!

So the internet and I became best friends and I branched out. I learned about quinoa, risotto, cooking with wine, why the crock pot is my best friend, how legumes and grains make a whole (and dirt-cheap) protein ... but I digress. Suffice it to say that cooking has become an addictive hobby that Mr. Dude certainly appreciates.

I made a kick-butt stew (seriously, it's spicy enough to kick your butt) tonight for dinner and do you know how Mr. Dude reacted?

Mr. Dude: "You know, I like it, Stephanie. But the beef is really tender ..."
Me: "Um, it's supposed to be like that. That's why you cook it so slowly at a low temperature. That's what makes it tasty."
Mr. Dude [with a sheepish grin]: "Oh. Uh. Then it's good!"

For all the geek speak that he teaches me, apparently I need to return the favor and start showing him what I know about cooking. If he doesn't know the basics about how food is supposed to taste, then I haven't been doing my job!

Or maybe I just don't talk his ear off about what I'm making the way he talks my ear off about technology ... 

For the record, here's what I made. Props to Cynthia Lair and her Feeding the Whole Family cookbook. Everything I've ever made from there has been phenomenal. No joke.

[Side note: I may have been giddy when Mr. Dude's aunt, a registered dietitian and college nutrition professor, offered to introduce me to Cynthia. It'd be the cooking equivalent of meeting Bill Nye, the Science Guy. True story.] 

Yes, that's Mr. Dude's keyboard in the background. 

Yes, it glows. In multiple colors. 

Because why wouldn't you buy a keyboard that glows? 

Spice Island Beef Stew

Prep time: 10 minutes to prepare stew, 2.5 hrs cooking time.
Makes 4 to 6 servings

3 tbs extra virgin olive oil, divided
1 lb beef chuck, trimmed and cut into 1 inch cubes
1 large onion, coarsely chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 habanero pepper, minced (remove seeds if you're not a fan of "heat")
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp allspice
1/4 flour
1 bay leaf
Zest of 1 orange
Juice of 1 orange plus water, wine and/or stock to equal 1.5 cups
1 (14 oz) can diced tomatoes
2 tsp sea salt
1 green bell pepper, diced
1 medium zucchini, diced
1 cup cooked red beans

Heat a large stew pot or pressure cooker over medium-high heat. Add 2 tablespoons of the oil and meat. Brown meat on all sides, about 5 minutes. Remove meat and set aside on plate.

Add remaining oil to pot along with onion. Saute briefly, until onion begins to turn translucent. Add garlic, habanero, thyme and allspice. Cook for 30 seconds, until garlic and spices are fragrant.

Return meat to pot. Sprinkle flour over sauteed mixture and stir to coat meat and vegetables. Cook 1 to 2 minutes, then add bay leaf, orange zest and juice, liquid, tomatoes and salt.

Bring to a boil. Turn heat to low, cover and simmer 1.5 hours, or until meat begins to tenderize.

Add bell pepper and zucchini. Return to a simmer and cook, covered, 20 minutes, or until vegetables are nearly tender. Add beans and simmer 10 minutes more, until flavors have blended and meat can be shredded with a spoon. Discard bay leaf, adjust seasonings if necessary, and serve.

[It's super tasty with toasted homemade bread. Just sayin'.]

Overclocked ... Computer-Wise, Not the Schedule

Mr. Dude likes to tell me all the time about overclocking his Intel Core processor.

Apparently, after much tinkering, it's in a "sweet spot" right now - something like a 2.67Ghz running at 3.60Ghz.

I'm sure he'll correct me on the numbers later, but I get the basic concept. It's designed to run at such-and-such a speed, and he's running it a little bit harder without melting down.

Oh, and there's hyperthreading in there, too. Because why send a dotted -line stream of information, when you could make all those little computer brains send a solid-line stream of information and do so much more?

He gets really excited that he can run Crysis the way it was meant to be ("because the technology finally caught up with what the game developers had intended, Stephanie!"), or that he can run a really intense graphics program (read: "games", or "Netflix" ... you know, one of those) while simultaneously running Folding@Home on full-strength. All in the name of cancer research, you know. Or Parkinson's disease. I can't remember which project it is. But he's contributing the most "work units" to his group right now with all of his computing power. [He doesn't like me to remind him that he'd have even more "points" in the epic geek contest if he stayed off his computer and let it just run F@H.]

And RAM. Let's not forget the RAM. All 24GB of it. Oh, it's so lovely to run so many things without even needing the CPU or GPU.

And you'll never even hear it! Passive cooling + uber quiet fans + uber quiet power supply = optimized temperature and efficiency with very little noise to bother Mr. Dude's ears.

"Listen! Listen, Stephanie! You can't hear anything! The computer will always be the quietest piece of technology in our house. Isn't that awesome?!" 

Add in a sizable monitor with 1920x1080p resolution, an LED-lit keyboard, a gaming mouse, and a decent 2.1 sound system, and it's not a bad set-up, really.

Kind of reminds me of this scene:

For the record, Mr. Dude has actually set up infrared repeaters, fans and considered putting in a water cooling system to his computer.

Translation: The conversation the guys have amongst themselves has actually happened in our apartment. And it was just Mr. Dude talking to himself. The scary part is knowing most of what he's talking about ...

You know the best part about Mr. Dude's computer set up, though?

Commandeering it so I can open a simple web browser and a PDF viewer in order to complete some accounting projects for our home finances.

Oh, and run Pandora in the background.

Booyah.

"Talk Nerdy to Me, Lover"

[Props to the hilarious eponymous FB page, by the way.]

While at Cousin Julie's house this week, Mr. Dude was sorting through all kinds of wires, cords, batteries, etc, to help her set up the Wii, a cool sound bar for her TV, and her internet connection. I'm taking care of Little Guy (who is kind of fussing since he hasn't had a good nap since the morning) and oohing and aahing over the amazing home improvement stuff she's done.

Mr. Dude, as usual, is giving commentary on what he's doing - stuff about how the sound bar could be positioned over the tv or under the tv, here's an interesting factoid about some component on the desktop you have in there, you could hide the cables from the desktop computer over here, and did you know that the Wii has HDMI cables available so you can get the full high def signal from it? Yeah, you should order one from Amazon, Julie. 

Most of the time I manage to tune it out. Or at least smile and nod.

[Guys, it's not just your move. We gals do it, too. In my defense, I actually know what he's talking about 90% of the time. I just am not always interested. But I rarely tell him to stop talking about tech stuff. Yes, I love him that much.]

But one item made my ears perk up: The modem and wireless router were in the second bedroom/sewing room. The Blu-Ray player was out in the living room. If Julie wanted it to connect to things like Amazon Prime and Netflix, she'd have to run an ethernet cord all along the baseboards. 

That was promptly vetoed. Julie hates visual cables almost as much as Mr. Dude does. 

Me: Mr. Dude, couldn't you just set up a wireless repeater in here and connect the Blu-Ray player to it so you wouldn't have to run the cables in here?
Mr. Dude: Yeah, I could. That's a good idea! I'll look and see what she has. Maybe the internet company left one - they had an extra device in there that I hadn't looked at yet.
Julie: What did you just tell him? You actually understand all that, Stephanie? You go, girl!
Me: Yeah. Sometimes I talk "nerdy" to him. [insert rim shot here]

Some days, I shake my head and sigh at the #geekspeak things I say ...