[Near Gear Mondays. Where I tell you all about the random gear that Mr. Dude - or I - may or may not own. Or gear that we may or may not plan to own. Or gear that we may or may not find interesting. You're welcome.]
Once upon a time, a long time ago, baby gear was all about what baby actually needed.
And then along came things like dishwashers, washing machines, dryers, vacuum cleaners and electronic baby swings ... suddenly, people had time on their hands for more than the bare minimum. So they started coming up with things that would be cool for baby to have, which usually coincides with "things baby definitely doesn't need to have".
[As a long time babysitter and nanny, I've seen my fair share of the ridiculous things that people could swear they "need" for their kid. Wipe warmers, anyone? But I digress.]
There are some baby items which - admittedly - baby does not need.
BUT! Mom and Dad find them cool.
Bonus points if Dad finds them cool, because supposedly that makes Dad more interested in hanging out with baby ... or at least feeling like he has a say in some of the gear that you buy. [Let's be honest. Most dads don't care about decorating the nursery or picking out a diaper bag.]
Bonus Points: It's even made of maple. How very ... um ... Canadian of them, eh?
Whenever Little Guy gets a Little Gal or a Littler Guy to teach about all things nerdy, I can almost guarantee you that we'll buy one as a teaching prop for him to use. You gotta equip the next generation, you know.
Can you hear the conversation now?
Little Guy: Here, baby. This button helps you jump and this one makes you go faster. This one helps you get the extra star ... No, no, no! You don't eat it! That will make Mario fall down and die! Future Little Sibling:[blank stare, blink blink, continues chewing]
[Sigh. This is the part where I resign myself to my fate of always living in a house of nerds ... in case you hadn't caught on to that yet ...]
In the computer world, "bug" is a bad, bad word. [This is where all the coders start shuddering.]
Within the confines of my house, "bug" means "pest that's only alive because the cat isn't doing her job or Mr. Dude hasn't killed it yet even though I asked a whole 2 seconds ago".
For my garden, "bug" means "that thing that's trying to eat all the plants!"
As far as my to do list is concerned, "bug" refers to the verb, as in - "I haven't done Item A [or Item B, or Item C, or Item D, or Item E ...] yet, and it's starting to bug me".
For the purposes of this blog, "bug" explains the content of this post, and I'm going to refer to all of the above.
Let's go in reverse order, shall we?
To Do List: Let's just say that mine has been rather long, without much progress and without enough coffee. [For the record, there's never enough coffee. You'll be my best friend if you bring me some good coffee. Promise.] We've had lots going on with Mr. Dude's work schedule, Little Guy's sleep schedule, and my manage-our-home-behind-the-scenes schedule. Thus, the blog fell off the "highest priority, must get something posted today" radar. Hard to blog about life when you're too busy living it, right? Don't worry - it gnawed at me. So we're back.
Garden: The bugs in the garden have been watching us pull up undergrowth, kill off the moss that was eating our lawns [oh, the joys of living in the PNW] and set up all kinds of accessories. Our backyard is now sporting some awesome garage sale finds and hand-me-downs: patio table and chairs, solar LED umbrella [oooh! blinky lights!], fire pit, and gas bbq grill. [Can you say "neighborhood cookout"?!]
If you thought Mr. Dude's only hobbies were building and modifying computers or finding random videos on YouTube featuring reviews of the Goat Simulator game given by a gal who just ate a habanero pepper stuffed with ghost chili pepper sauce, then you were mistaken.
He ALSO loves sprucing up a much-loved grill to make it shine like new and filling up the gargantuan yard waste can with vines and dandelions and blackberry bush clippings. Not the stereotypical nerd who never sees daylight, I tell you. [Although, did I tell you about how he worked in the basement at our university's IT Help Desk, and they had pictures of windows overlooking sunny landscapes on their computer desktops in lieu of actual windows? Apparently the nerds thought their virtual UV rays were sufficient ...]
But seriously, when he's not doing yardwork, he really is looking up Goat Simulator game reviews.
House: I've been doing my own geeking out over things like design, function and decorating. I may or may not have spent most of a sunny day outside, lounging in our new-to-us patio furniture and reading this:
Mr. Dude likes the "DIY" concept for building computers; I like it applied to cooking and decorating. Also, I appreciate bloggers with a sense of humor, so I follow them on Bloglovin'. [Note: You could follow The Almost Nerdy Wife on Bloglovin', too. Just sayin'. #shamelessselfpromotion #justkiddingIhateselfpromoting]
The only downside is that I can't actually do most of the project ideas in here: we're waiting on even basic things like paint and hanging pictures until our walls are demolished and rebuilt. No, we're not knocking our entire house down. Yes, we have to redo most of our electrical work.
[1916 House + Nerd with Excess of Electronic Devices = Supply and Demand Imbalance]
Actually, we needed to do the update anyways [hellooooooo, knob and tube!], and I'm too lazy to paint walls that are just going to be torn up in a few months. But it's so much more fun to point out Mr. Dude's wattage consumption. He won't mind, though. He willingly measures how many watts his machines pull out anyways.
This is actually pretty low, especially after we had legit outlets installed downstairs, in addition to the lightbulb-to-outlet conversions he had done. Otherwise, he had a ridiculous number of devices daisy-chained to a single extension cord running off one outlet in the mudroom/pantry just up the stairs from his man cave and it was consistently up in the 400s. We really need to get the electricity finished, folks!
Where were we?
Oh yeah. Decorating. Or not. At least not until Mr. Dude's machines can't cause a shortage throughout our entire house and blow every fuse in the box with one fell swoop of overclocking.
Excuse me. I'm off to go stock up on batteries for the flashlight in case of Wattage-gate.
Maybe I'll buy a can of paint while I'm at it.
[*Bonus Points for those of you who ever watched the Cartoon Network "June Bugs" specials where they ran a marathon of Warner Brothers' Bugs Bunny cartoons. Ah, such wonderful childhood memories.]
When we got married, he had an original Xbox and a PS2.
Then came an Xbox 360.
Then, somehow, he weasled his way in to buying a PS3.
Mr. Dude: But, Stephanie, we need a BluRay player. The 360 doesn't have one.
Me: And why should I care about that?
Mr. Dude: Because this:
[Image via Amazon.com]
Mr. Dude: And because it's available on Amazon Prime.
Me:Ooooooohhhhhh ... well that's different. Fine. Get the PS4. BUT! New rule. For every console you purchase, you must get rid of one from here on out. And, there must be some benefit to me, as well.
Mr. Dude: DONE!
[BluRay comes in handy for all sorts of things like the LOTR Extended Edition Trilogy, the bonus features for Enchanted that aren't available on the DVD, Pride and Prejudice with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth ... you know - the important stuff.]
Then sometime this year ... last year? ... [the timeline is foggy because we have so many discussions about what gadget he's going to buy next and why] ... he started musing on whether to get an Xbox One [which was confusing, because that's what we had been calling the original Xbox over here] or a PS4. Fortunately for him, he had already sold off the PS3 in favor of playing BluRays via his computer, so there was "room" for another console.
Want to see that conversation played out in real life? Here, we took video:
Okay, so really that's Sheldon and Amy from The Big Bang Theory. But you get the point.
I think I've mentioned before how it seems that the writers must just follow my life story for materials because I've had so many of the exact conversations that go on in that show.
It's getting kinda creepy, Chuck Lorre ...
Thankfully, we've put off buying anymore consoles for the time being. Mr. Dude believes that the consoles must be advanced enough technologically beyond the last generation to justify the price, so we're safe.
Remember how you used to have days in class where the teacher would do a review session for an upcoming test, and he'd pass out small prizes for the right answer? You know, like pencils, stickers, bookmarks and the like?
You thought I was talking about elementary school .
Nope. This happens in adult world, too, folks. Your wildest dreams have come true!
Mr. Dude's right answer during the SharePoint training seminar earned him some swag:
Seriously?!
Tacky? Or awesome?
Discuss.
[Side Note: I don't even dare ask Mr. Dude what the question was. Otherwise I'll suddenly discover that he's rattled off about all things SharePoint for an hour and I'll know more about it than the general population. I know better than that, folks!]
Little Guy turned one earlier this month, and my family made the trek all the way from sunny CA to celebrate with us.
They took the opportunity to give him some ... um ... appropriate gifts.
One sister, for example, created these:
It's what happens when you have access to the interwebs, a printer, and iron-on patches. So now my kid can go around proclaiming on his shirt what his general M.O. of life seems to be:
"But what about second breakfast?"
The other sister gave him what I call the "maniacal bumblebee" and what Mr. Dude has proclaimed one of the most awesome toys ever.
Want to see their ad for it? Watch the overly cheerful video. And then wonder if the video editor lost some hair while working on that project. Auntie's "Operation: Bug the Momma, Please the Nephew" is a complete success, y'all. Because Little Guy LOVES it.
[We have a dichotomy in our parenting philosophies, by the way. Mr. Dude thinks that loud, noisy toys make childhood more fun. I, on the other hand, am the one at home all day with Little Guy, so I hear that noisy toy a LOT. And I think a kid needs to learn to be entertained without all the flashing lights and sounds. But hey, he loves leafing through his board books and playing with blocks, so we'll call it good.]
I'm just worried about what's gonna happen when Mr. Dude gets around to building that DOS Pentium II off-line machine that our kids will get to use.
Found some more treasures at the consignment shop for Little Guy, just in time for the M's home opener on Tuesday:
Does this Giants' fan get bonus points for buying M's gear for our son? I mean, seriously.
[Mr. Dude asked me to wear M's gear to the game, and I think I almost laughed in his face. I reassured him that I love him. A lot. And then I reminded him that this is baseball we're talking about. I only wear black and orange, no matter who is playing or who my husband is cheering for. The "leaving and cleaving" may apply to my family, but it does not apply to my baseball team. Just sayin'.]
Also, I'm claiming bonus points for the R2D2 and C3PO shirt. Because what nerd's kid's wardrobe is complete without something from Star Wars?
I digress.
The day of said home game where Little Guy sported his Griffey gear, Mr. Dude and I were filling out paperwork at the doctor's office for the [insert trumpet fanfare here] one year appointment.
Me: What's the date today? Mr. Dude: The 8th. Do you know how I know it's the 8th? Me: Because it's our dating anniversary? Mr. Dude: No. And yes! But today is the day that Windows XP support ends. Me: And you know that more than you know that it's our dating anniversary? Mr. Dude: Hey, I had to live and breathe that deadline!
In all fairness, our dating anniversary is something more like a three day stretch, because it took one day for him to ask me to be his girlfriend, one day for me to think about it, and a third day for me to say "yes". April 8th is the day I said "yes". So sometimes I have a hard time remembering which one we celebrate [answer: we kinda, sorta celebrate all three].
And in all fairness, his massive project at work as a "Sharepoint Farmer" [as he calls himself] has been to migrate everything on their servers to a new OS so that everyone and their mom couldn't hack into the system. So the countdown to April 8, 2014, has been on his work desktop for the last couple of years.
Oh, widgets. What did we ever do without you?
Even so, the ordinals in his head for April 8th events went something like
[Windows XP end-of-support, M's Opening Day, 8 year dating anniversary, SQUIRREL!, Little Guy's appointment].
If he's not careful, I'll start calling him Szalinski.
[And he'd like you to know that he's proud I'd even use a reference from a 90's movie.]
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